CrossFit: Why there’s NO Reason to be Scared - CrossFit Moonee Valley Coaches Blog:

CrossFit: Why there’s NO Reason to be Scared – CrossFit Moonee Valley Coaches Blog:

by • May 16, 2016 • All Posts, Coaches Blog, Featured Special, TickerComments (0)3004

Hey guys! Been promising a coaches blog/email for over a fortnight now, and this one is particularly special because our CrossFit Box on the borders of Airport West and Essendon has undergone so many radical changes in the last few weeks, and we are offering so much more – class-wise and in a whole heap of new and different area’s too. We are branching out a bit, for reasons discussed at length below.

Yet, I also feel it’s time to set a few records straight in regards to CrossFit, and many people’s misguided perceptions of it…

It has come to our attention that a sizeable portion of the public are terrified of CrossFit. Personally, knowing lots about the sport, the training, and the scaling that can be applied to any person – of any age or athletic ability, I don’t see why they would even be remotely scared – but the fact is they are. They see these huge, ripped people throwing around steel on ESPN, and think we are all like that. Let me assure you, this is not the case. The majority of CrossFitters are just normal people – just like you. These guys and girls featuring on TV are elite athletes, and are the fittest people on Earth – literally. It takes a long, long time, plus a whole heap of Olympic level dedication to become like this.

Some of the most elite CrossFit athletes on Earth, in turn being the overall FITTEST people on Earth.

Some of the most elite CrossFit athletes on Earth, in turn being the overall FITTEST people on Earth.

We have a heavy competition element here in our gym, but we also cater to other people who have no interest in comp, and these people make up 80% of our population. They just want to keep fit and healthy, and want to prolong their lives through good living. They have taken the CrossFit plunge, and are one and all the better for it.

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Our community a while back, post in-Box comp. It is MUCH bigger now. It’s hard to get them all together these days for a pic.

In regards to CrossFit’s negative press, I also think Globo gyms and the hordes of money-hungry corporate monkeys that often run them have concocted a ‘CrossFit is Bad’ myth over the last few years, all because they are terrified of the services we offer, the activities that we do; and that many of these particular activities (that all work – and take effort to actually teach) are those that they don’t, can’t or won’t do; and have spun this whole elaborate fabrication that CrossFit is a cult, or all our form is bad, or that anyone can die during a WOD, or that all we do is talk about is CrossFit, or compile these fail vids where 99% of the time the people destroying themselves have NOTHING to do with our sport – and a whole heap of other ill-concocted crap that I think is complete and utter bollocks. Yet, in a lot of area’s they have tried to emulate us – but just can’t capture that community feel, nor the personalised service or knowledge we offer. So they mess it up entirely, offering some sort of watered down alternative that is not even the steam off a real CrossFit gym’s shit.

The bottom line is, we scare the hell out of them, and many of them have built some sort of half-assed functional cage in their ‘real estate’ (because when you think about it, that’s all they are – real estate), then they buy a big space fill it with machines and people, then back off – offering no real service or community – just a zoo full of formless goons and goonettes, and are lucky to have anyone on the floor overseeing the constant array of ultimate stupidity that transpires on an hourly basis; and when they’ve filled their real estate, they buy more – just like any property developer would, and should – I guess. It’s sad that many people think that this type of fitness is the be all and end all. It has a place in the world of fitness, but it’s a corporate model popularised in the 80’s – complete with a vast array of inexperienced, undereducated PT’s paying an arm and a leg to work there, all with the rights of a sweatshop worker in Cambodia. CrossFit and the main people involved in it have had the extreme balls it took to call this system out, and as a result have positively changed the face of global fitness for the better. Of course there has to have been a serious backlash, but we – CrossFit Boxes – are still here, now stronger than ever, charging more for our multitude of expert services for numerous reasons (personalisation, knowledge, community, experience, results, clean living), and we are here to stay – bet your ass on that too. If you want the real deal, we hope you are grounded and intelligent enough that you know where it’s at.

Globo gyms – your average $15 a week, machine filled public gym – scare me. I never go near them. The unchecked form in them alone is enough to make me cringe by just driving past one and looking in the front window at night. Yet – they have the audacity to call us out. It is almost laughable, except for one fact; to a certain degree their bullshit has worked, and the more gullible people in the fitness industry have taken a set against us on a major level, with no experience of what we really do. I almost feel sorry for them. I mean how dumb can a person be?

Come into our gym – and yes, we call it a ‘Box’ – deal with it. And let’s see some of that bad form you talk of? We pride ourselves on taking it next level when it comes to personal service and excellence, and we treat everyone the same in our Box, and I can tell you every one of my clients deadlift 1RM’s – I know what they do for a living, I know what they can and can’t do, I am completing a degree in Sport Science, as well as have an array of other qualifications and experience, and have been an elite athlete outside the Box. As have most of my staff. I have been a personal trainer for hundreds of people before I even affiliated with CrossFit, I have trained every type of person ­– pride myself on my work – and I personally am far, far my past my apprenticeship as a coach; but I still have a long, long way to go, and I plan to take it to highest level, as do all my coaches – you can bet your ass on that, again. Also, all my staff are driven, and this is what separates us from any standard corporate/mainstream/Globo fitness facility.

Our Box. It has everything you need and more for whatever level you want to get to.

Do you get this in your Globo gym? I think not. Then why are you scared of us? Who made you believe this crap – you should punch that douchebag in the throat! lol. It’s the equivalent of you believing that bearded, scruffy guy with crazy eyes on a tram who approaches/accosts you and asks: “would you like to talk about Jesus,” then getting off at the next stop to start praying with him – with no knowledge of theology, religion, or history at all. It’s preposterous, and makes no sense to me whatsoever. You’ve got to try before you buy, or have some real knowledge on the subject before you start putting it down.

Contrary to semi-popular belief, lots of CrossFit Boxes, including our Box – CrossFit Moonee Valley -willingly accept everyone and anyone; there is no elitism, there are no cliques, we have no tolerance of idiocy or bad form, we have no wannabe cult leaders running the place, and our athletes workouts are ramped up in intensity and volume in accordance with their own physical limits – all while chasing down perfect form (for anyone this is a lifetime occupation), which is constantly assessed by highly experienced and patient coaches.

Admittedly we are the new kids on the block, but we take what we do exceptionally seriously. If you want excellence on every level, you have nothing to fear from this particular CrossFit Box, and our community, which is by no means even close to being some sort of cult (as I abhor that sort of ‘put the head guy on a pedestal and let him preach to his disciples’ garbage), and is on the up and up. Also, I will reiterate with complete and utter confidence and sincerity – THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR ABOUT US – WE WILL LOOK AFTER YOU TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY AND BEYOND – NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE. If you have heard rubbish about CrossFit and believe it – that’s your loss. You are as gullible as any religious fanatic, or conspiracy theorist thinking that little green men rule the world.

I implore you to join a well-respected Box, with patient, friendly and knowledgeable coaches before you start blabbing. It’s getting old now, and as pre-mentioned, we just keep getting stronger, and if you open your mouth without real experience, it sort of makes you look really, really stupid.

As a whole, CrossFit Boxes are very, very professional micro-organisations, who strive to keep their customers happy in every way. In today’s cut-throat fitness environment, if you are no good at what you do, you either have a very, very empty gym, or you go broke. It’s that simple. If you are shit at your job, and don’t have some rich bunch of silent partners bankrolling you, you are going NOWHERE fast. To stay alive while running premium services, you have to do just that – run PREMIMUM services, and actually care about the people you train. That’s what WE do.

It’s your choice – pay a minimal fee and be completely ‘ho-hum’ about your fitness, or make a true investment in your life and its longetivety, pay a little more, and be accountable to someone who really wants the best for you. At the end of the day it’s your choice, but I know what choice I made, and I have never looked back.

Through my time in the sport I’ve met many, many CrossFit coaches who eat, sleep and breathe the welfare of their athletes, and who continually better themselves, and sacrifice much in life for the betterment of others too; and who are truly in this game to help people. These are no mere Personal Trainers. These are people who go way beyond the limits and expectations of any regular coach. So next time you want to have a shot at our sport, and our way of life – just have a think, because chances are you are probably very, very wrong – or maybe just an unschooled, over-opinionated dumbass? I personally don’t define between the two.

We cool? lol. Ok, I’m glad, but it had to be said. I hope I have cleared up some common misconceptions? CrossFit is for EVERYONE, and it is no fad. You don’t have to train up beforehand  to get in here. There’s nothing to be scared of. It changes and saves lives, and gives people the ability to form incredible friendships, forged by hard work and perseverance – skills (mental & physical) that can then be replicated outside the Box in everyday life. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. There is no scientology-like goings on in our Box, or any Box that I know of (we swear, laugh our asses off, hook up, do outrageous drunken things on social outings, and even get naked occasionally) and if you don’t like these concepts, you are probably just an asshole, or some sort of disgruntled form-Nazi who didn’t get laid much in high school – or ever, for that matter. Our Box is LOTS of fun – but when the buzzer rings to begin the WOD, we are ALL business.

Now I’ve got that off my chest, I hope you are no longer scared. And if you are, we do carry other options. So let’s talk about these options our Box is offering people who do and don’t want to do CrossFit, or who want Premium CrossFit training for beginners, or something else entirely. Our selection is highly varied and accessible, again for everyone. Check it out…

Look at our timetable first up. It is undoubtedly comprehensive, and we have LOTS to offer everyone…


From this you can see we are the real deal. We have it all, and we treat all our clients equally. There is NOTHING to be scared of. As you can see a great portion of our timetable is devoted to beginners. Everyone has to start somewhere – right? As a result we have come up with an ‘On-Ramp’ program that is second to none. On-Ramp Deluxe. It consists of 8 Personal Training sessions, that are expertly delivered in a one on one or small group setting (your choice), and teach you everything you will need to know in your first year of CrossFit as well as gaining understanding of basic anatomy, movement, recovery and diet, and also the energy systems you use during any type of exercise. This knowledge will enable you to graduate into our group CrossFit classes with complete confidence and know-how. Check it out…

On Ramp larger

click on the pic to sign up!

Also, for that person who thinks CrossFit may be a bit much, and truly wants something challenging, but not quite as hardcore, we have a Bootcamp starting on Sat the 28th of May. Check the unbeatable value and freebies you get with this; it is truly awesome, and we are really looking forward to it. Get around quickly as bookings are exceptionally limited…


click on the pic to sign up!

And, if you want some 1 on 1 time, we have the most experienced and patient Personal Trainers in the area to help you out. Check out our prices HERE annd book in! Also, when you’ve done 12 sessions with us, and want to continue on we offer you our ‘special’ rate – which is cheaper than anything listed.

Ok, so it’s official – we have it ALL, and there’s NOTHING to be afraid of. There is no better nor more populated CrossFit Box to train with in the Essendon area. We hope you come join us! From the day you walk in you will be treated like you should be – with respect and true sincerity, no matter who you are.

Book yourself in or come in to check us out. We don’t bite, and that’s why we are officially ‘Melbourne’s Friendliest CrossFit Gym.’

See you in the Box!

The CMV Team





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